Lighten Your Load

This has been a tough week.  It feels a lot like the white walkers have broken through the fire trenches and are scaling my castle walls.  If you don't watch Game of Thrones you may not completely understand the reference, but I think you know what I mean.

There's a reason we say "when it rains it pours," and it's not necessarily because it's true.  When bad things happen, dealing with them individually isn't exactly fun, but it's manageable.  Then something else happens, then something else, and suddenly it's pouring!  I know that overwhelming feeling that catapults us into the "my life sucks" mindset.  When you feel like things aren't going well, the smallest thing can be the nail in the coffin- forgetting to put a stamp on a letter, spilling a drink in your car, a drip of cheese dip on your new shirt - THAT'S IT. WORST DAY EVER - when in reality, any one of those things would be no big deal on a normal day.  This is what my week has been like, and this is where perspective comes in.  I know some of us like to wallow in self-pity for a hot minute, and that's fine as long as you don't linger there.  Be upset, take a minute to recognize "hey, that wasn't a good time," and start unstacking the pile.  Put each thing, individually, into perspective.  Can it be fixed? How can I fix it? Will it continue to impact me in 1 hour? 1 day? 1 week?  When you start thinking it through, most of the little things piling up just aren't worth the worry or time we are giving them.

We constantly walk around with our arms full of "life stuff" as if we are conducting our own personal grocery challenge - you know, when you try to only make one trip from the car to the house?  We load our arms up and do that speed waddle down the sidewalk, then we stick our foot out blindly searching for the step we know is coming.  When we finally get to the door, we have to strategically balance something on our knee to get a hand free to open it.  Then once it's open we rush to the kitchen, drop everything (including the eggs and bread you smashed trying to get the door open) and let out one big "PHEW!"  Would it really be THAT big of a deal to ask for someone to come help you carry things into the house?  Or just carry a manageable load and come back for the rest in a second trip?  Answer: No.
This is what we do with the life stuff.  We have people around us - family, friends, coworkers - who WANT to lighten our load, but we say "oh no thanks, I've got it!"

I detest the saying "God doesn't give us more than we can handle" because it's just not true. God absolutely gives us more than we can handle because He also wants us to call on him to help lighten our load.  He puts people in our lives to help lighten the load.  The thing is - we have to let Him/them do it.  We waddle around trying to peak over the load in our arms to see where we are going, when He is walking beside us, waiting with empty arms.

I've been pretty vague about why I’m having a bad week because I don't want to cause unnecessary panic, but I will say that Matt's scans didn't come back quite as we had hoped.  It's not necessarily bad news, but we just don't know what it all means YET.  In fact, I am posting this from the Thomas Hospital waiting room as he is having the first of a few upcoming tests and scans, which will hopefully clear things up.  I keep saying that I'm not going to worry until there's something to worry about, which is easier said than done.  I will admit, I feel pretty foolish for skipping along through life thinking we were finished with all this, but that's who I am.  Blind optimism is my middle name!  I am telling you because I need you to lighten our load.  I need you to pray this is nothing...and maybe pray that IF it is something, we will Arya Stark this thing! I know, another GoT reference.  I can't help myself!

I have a painted mirror in my bathroom that says "You were assigned this mountain to show others it can be moved," and I truly believe that in my heart of hearts. I want God to use us as he sees fit, whatever that may be.  If that means moving mountains, we will.

xo - Kellie