Ridiculous Items that I nee...I mean, Ozzie needs :)

Have you ever been standing in line at Wal-Mart wondering why they have so many random items placed by the register? Well, believe it or not, those items are not there just in case you should forget to pick up batteries, a DVD, or hand sanitizer. They are placed there for people like me. People who get bored if they have to stand in one place for more than 60 seconds. Each time I stand in line I am forced to look at all of those silly items until I convince myself that I need the Pajama Jeans! Yeah, Definitley needed the Pajama Jeaans... I have to switch gears on you, but we will come back to the buying silly things I don't need.

I will admit that taking care of Ozzie has been no cakewalk. It is definitely a good idea to have a dog before children (FYI). I have a touch of OCD and maybe a little hypochondria. Okay, I probably don't have either, but I diagnosed myself! Thanks WebMD! ;). Anywho, the bottom line is that I tend to freak out over ev-ery-thaanng he does. If he has a cut, if he makes a funny noise, if he doesn't turn around exactly 3 times before laying down, then I am immediately googling to see why my dog is possibly dying. I over analyze everything he does! Not good, I know. Helen and Kathy are trying to fix me! Since I have these moments with Ozzie, I have devoted some serious time into researching products to help me. (See, I told you we would come back to it!) After some careful thought, I can usually talk myself out of buying these ridiculous products. (Side note, sorry if you have them and I am making fun of them!)...(Another side note, I am 100% serious about wanting these items.)

The "Doggy Bjorn" (I am putting that in quotations because I don't know the real name of the product.)

I like to go to the park and run...okay jog.......alright I wog. Either way, Ozzie and I can't do it together because he likes to stop and sniff, or get tangled in a bush, or try to fight the pit bull passing us on the trail, minding his own business. All of these things interrupt the wogging! Also, Ozzie is very tiny, so he has to take probably 6 or 8 steps to my 1! After about 30 minutes of walking, he is pooped. Hence the need for the Doggy Bjorn! After Oz has done his biznazz and gets tired, I can simply strap him in and be on my way! I had this item in my cart on Amazon until I realized that I would be known as "That girl with her dog in a baby harness walking around the park." I said to myself "Annnndddd remove that from the cart."

The Doggy Booties

We have recently had a lot of snow, which Ozzie hates. He can play in it for about 5 minutes, and then he is holding his paws up and begging me to carry him inside. We've all seen videos of dogs stumbling around in these booties, and I always felt so sorry for them, until now. Ozzie needs the booties so his little feetsies won't get so cold when he wants to play in the snow! Sadly, every time I bring them up, everyone tells me no...

The Doggy Biscuit Maker

Ozzie was a victim of the treat recall a few months ago! He had eaten some before we knew about it, and became VERY sick. Luckily, he got it all out of his system quickly and is fine now. This incident makes me VERY careful about what I feed him. (PLEASE try to make sure your dog's treats and food are made in the USA, not China!) So, during one of Elder Beerman's many sales, I spotted the treat maker! I wanted it, I needed it! Tara talked some sense into me after she pointed out that I barely have time to cook my own dinners, so what made me think I would have time to make Ozzie's treats. Touche. So, no treat maker. An after thought - I know me, and I know I would have used it one time and it would have sat in the box for 10 years. Also, Ozzie is so picky (cough, spoiled) that I know he wouldn't have touched them!

The Doggy Umbrella

I still think this one is a great idea, even if everyone else doesn't. Who doesn't hate that wet dog smell!? So why not shield your dog from the rain and eliminate the odor with this little baby? Ozzie hates going out in the rain and snow, but he has to do his biznazz somehow! Unfortunately I have the same problem with the umbrella as the bjorn. I don't want to be the crazy lady with the umbrella leash!

The Doggy Table/Kennel

Ozzie was mostly house broken when I got him, and his separation anxiety was absolutely ridiculous, so we never got the hang of the kennel. Okay, I admit that I also couldn't stand to hear him whine and cry like he did, but that's beside the point! We don't need no stinkin' kennel! BUT if he did, we would've had one of these bad boys!

The Doggy Mansion

This one still isn't out of the question! Someday when I have a house with a nice, big backyard, Prince Ozzie will have his castle!....Seriously.

Doggy Diapers

I have to admit, I actually did purchase these when Oz had his surgery! They had pumped him full of fluids, but he was so tired and sore that taking him out to go potty was hard on him. Yes, I got diapers, so sue me! Ozzie hated the idea too, and that tiny little diaper didn't stand a chance. It probably lasted for all of 3 minutes before he was ripping it off!

I know that I go a little overboard with Ozzie, but it has always bothered me when people say "It's just a dog" because it's not to me! Ozzie is family. He is the only other living thing in my home (that I know of...still unsure about the man living in my attic - watching my TV and eating my food while I'm at work! That's another blog...). I know I would be incredibly lonely without the Ozman, and I've come to realize that he doesn't need to be pampered to know that I love him! He loves me no matter what, and the feeling is mutual!

Oh, and please adopt!! :)