The Magic Pills

As many of you know, my dad has coached several different sports at George Washington Middle School over the years.  Not because he necessarily wanted to, but usually because nobody was willing to take the position.  While Tara was in middle school, he proudly coached the Lady Blue Devils basketball team, and they went on to win the conference championship.  This was not due to their amazing skills, my dad's excellent coaching, or their hard work, dedication, and practice.  This was because of the Magic Pills.

I was in the first grade during this time, which was a particularly good year for me when it came to my story telling.  One of my mom's co-workers had an old GWMS cheerleading uniform that she had given to me, so naturally, I convinced my classmates that I was a GW Middle cheerleader.  I would pack the uniform in a duffle bag and take it to school with me, then walk over to the middle school and change before games.

I was always at the basketball practices and games, and I liked hanging out with Tara's friends because they always played with me.  Before all the games, Helen would give me M&Ms or TicTacs to give to the girls, and I would tell them that they are Magic Pills to help them play better! So the girls would eat one and pretend to be super pumped up!  As they played, I would sit in the bleachers and think that every basket, pass, and steal was because of that Magic Pill I gave them.

One morning, while packing my duffle bag for the big game, I decided to pack some Magic Pills.  I took one of my moms pill bottles, and replaced the pills with orange TicTacs.

During class, I decided that I really wanted a TicTac, so I went over to my cubby, got in my dufflebag, and ate a couple of the "Pills."  My teacher looked up and saw me popping pills and immediately freaked out!  I tried to explain to her that they were Magic Pills, but she wouldn't listen! She sent me and my pills to the principals office right away. (This is right around the time that the schools were really cracking down on the "Drug-free Schools thing.)

So there I sat in front of Mr. Hoffman, swinging my legs with a smile on my face, the pill bottle of TicTacs between us.  By this time he had already had time to investigate the matter (aka call Helen).

He said "Kellie, what is in that bottle?"

I looked at him, and looked at the bottle, then back at him and said, "They're Magic Pills."

He smirked, and said "Magic Pills? Are you sure."

I was offended that he would question that!  I sat up in my chair, crossed my arms, and with as much sass as I had in my little body replied, "Yep! My daddy gives these to his basketball team to make them play better!"

Mr. Hoffman couldn't keep up with the charade any longer, and started laughing. Of course I received a stern talking to about how serious prescription medications are and was told that I needed to make sure I leave my Magic Pills at home.  He dumped my TicTacs into a plastic baggy and sent me on my way.

The Magic Pills never made it to the game though.  Someone ate them all...