Let's Hear It For The Mamas!

It’s unfortunate that COVID-19 is still around for Mother's Day weekend.  It's kind of putting a damper on the celebrations and gift buying! Let’s be honest, if there’s ever a year moms need to be celebrated, it’s 2020.  After being trapped in the house with their stir crazy children whilst working at a dining room table with their husband for...I'm not even sure how long, they deserve a super special day!  I mean, you know we are struggling because a lot of us have relented to joining Tiktok for entertainment, and there’s no shame in that. It’s called survival.  BUT, you've made it this far, so please allow me to congratulate you on a job well done.

I've said before that I have really enjoyed my time home with my family!  I am so grateful for this extra time to snuggle with Logan.  Throughout the day, while I am working, I often look over my laptop to see Matt and Logan giggling and chatting it up and think "I could be at the office right now missing this," and it makes my heart so happy to be quarantined.  As you know, this is my first Mother's Day, and I am excited to see what Logan plans to do to celebrate my 2 days of fun whilst bringing him into this world! Totally kidding, of course.  Sorta...

One thing I am quickly learning about motherhood is that we all do things so unbelievably differently!  Even my best friends, sister, and I all do things our own way, and it is really refreshing to know there isn't a mold you have to fit in.  It's just about what works for your family!  If you're not in any "mom groups" on Facebook, good.  Keep it that way.  You are better off texting your friend or googling your question because those women are mean!  I don't post in the group, but I do stay for the entertainment value.  I'm actually surprised at how many things they can find to argue about when it comes to the tiny humans.  Some of the hot topics include, but are not limited to the following:
hospital birth vs home birth
vaginal delivery vs ceasarian section
to induce or not to induce (that is the question...)
breastfeeding vs formula
breastfeeding vs pumping/bottle feeding
cloth diapers vs disposable
the great vax debate
the various places a baby should or should not sleep
Honestly, this blog could go on for days if I tried to sit here and list them all, so you get the idea!
It's hard not to notice that most of the criticism we face as moms comes from our own comrades.  Aren't we supposed to be helping and supporting each other?


I will never forget it - several years ago, a blogger I followed on IG posted the cutest picture of her toddler holding a Starbucks cup with a whipped cream mustache that had the caption we all know and love, "I mustache you a question..." I liked it and moved on, not thinking too much of it.  Later that evening I watched her story in which she was defending the photo.  I quickly went to her profile to view the comments and was totally shocked that there were comments shaming her for giving a toddler coffee (*eye roll* it was clearly not coffee) and the other half of the comments were other moms defending the photo.  It was like civil war, mom v. mom.  Another time, a blogger was picking up her kids from school and arrived early.  While breastfeeding her baby in the front seat, she explained that her Target trip was unsuccessful, and she didn't want to go home for 30 minutes then load the baby back up to go to back downtown to pick up her kids. Again, later that evening there was a story defending her actions.  I felt so irritated for her because she was clearly sitting in a parking lot, in a parked car.  But the other night, as I was feeding Logan and scrolling the socials to pass time and stay awake, I saw something that I just can't shake.  My heart hurts so bad for this new mama that I cried and I prayed for her right then and there.  No, this isn't your average mama, it's Meghan Markle.  A charity shared a sweet video of Meghan reading a book to Archie.  I noticed it had a lot of comments, so I scrolled through a few.  My heart broke.  They said she was only "acting like a mom," she was using Archie to get attention for herself, she should've let Harry read the book, she has no maternal instinct, when she kissed Archie on the head it was "phony," etc. etc. etc. Even the author of the children's book chimed in with some hateful comments.  GUYS, are we forreal right now!?  Picking apart a 3 minute video and attacking a mother sweetly reading a story to her son...to raise money for charity!? Not sure we can go much lower.

My heart hurts for these moms who bravely share these extremely vulnerable parts of their lives with the world only to face such criticism.  All of us moms are doing the very best that we can, and we are all acting in what we genuinely believe is in the best interest for our children.  So, can we just have a little faith in each other?  Can we accept that mistakes WILL be made?  It's okay to disagree. It’s okay to do things differently. It’s okay to have a calm, civil conversation about any topic.  But instead of commenting on something for the purpose of shaming and arguing, I want you to try this - If you can't come up with a polite way to share your alternate way of doing something, then just think to yourself "Oh, that is interesting.  I wouldn't do it that way..." and then take your little finger, and keep on a'scrollin'.  It's that simple.  Let's focus on using our mama conversations as an opportunity to learn and grow instead of judge.

Motherhood looks different on everyone. It doesn’t make any of us better or worse. We are all strong and brave and and totally capable.  I love thinking about the fact that God hand picked me to be Logan’s mama, and Logan to be my boy.  It makes it so much better when I am waking up at all hours of the night to pump or feed him.  I think we make a pretty good team most days, but we also have super hard days.   Chemo weeks are challenging for a number of reasons. Not only is Matt feeing the effects of the meds, but he also can’t touch Logan and has to sleep alone in the guest room for several days, which obviously sucks.  For about 4-5 days, I am kind of a single parent! I have to feed him every time, change every diaper, put the binky in his mouth 1,000x, do the morning and bedtime routine, wake up with him at night, hold him when he cries, etc. all by myself. Oh, and work now.  Shout out to the people who do that full time because it is crazy difficult.  I’m not complaining because I love them, and I’d do anything for them, but I’m pretty lazy, so it’s hard on ya girl!  We are so thankful for our parents helping us so much.  And yes, we get to break the social distancing/quarantine rules for them because we would be falling apart at the seams if we had to do this without them.  A perfect example of how we are doing things our way because that is what works for us.  You don't have to do it that way, and you don't have to critique my way of doing it.

So, on this Mother's Day I want to celebrate all of the mamas I love so much.  After being on the job a mere three months, I can't even begin to express how much love and respect I have for all these women.  It is hard work, and sometimes the hard work starts before the baby has even been made, but the cliché phrases that made me roll my eyes for all these years have turned out to be so very true.  Your love for your child is a very different kind of love.  It knows no bounds, and there is absolutely nothing better.  More than anything in the world, I want my son to be healthy, smart, successful, kind, and above all, happy.  Being a mama is without a doubt my favorite thing ever, and I am so happy to celebrate it.  Happy Mother's Day!


xo - Kellie