Life with Helen

Okay guys, don't say I didn't warn you.  I really thought long and hard about this one because it is SUPER embarrassing, but I have finally been talked into writing this blog.  Here goes nothing... My sister, Tara, is five years older than me.  As the little sister, I, of course, always wanted whatever Tara had.  If Tara got blue jean overalls, I begged Helen to get me a pair.  If Tara got a new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle toy, I wanted a turtle as well, even though I didn't even like them.  As Tara got older and into her teenage years, it became harder to copy her.  Out of nowhere, Tara got boobs.  It didn't take long for me to take one of Helen's sport bras and stuff it with socks.  I was no amateur.  I could hang. Until one day, I noticed something new in our bathroom.  There were these giant padded stickers.  I opened one up, and tossed away the pink, plastic wrapper, peeled off the back and stuck it on my bell...

I really am on the blogging bandwagon these days!  I love it!  Especially now that I'm not in school, and not writing papers all the time!  Now that I think about it, school takes the fun out of writing and reading period.  It's just not so fun to read books that someone else picks out for you and write papers about economics and business strategy.  Since I graduated, I've been a literary machine!  Do you have the Audible App?  Get the Audible App!  I LOVEEEE the Audible App!  I listen to books in my car, in the bathtub, while I clean.  It's fabulous! I really wish more people would give blogging a chance!  There are so many things to blog about!  It doesn't have to be like a journal where you tell what you did that day or about your life.  I like to share my childhood stories with everyone, but it doesn't have to be about your life.  You can blog about cooking and recipes, heath and fitness, your...

     If I had to describe Jeff Lewis in one word, it would be patient.  He has been forced to live with three very opinionated and outspoken women for a very long time.  I can't tell you how many times I've seen my dad look up into the sky and say "Lord, how much does a man have to take?"  So, In honor of Father's Day, I have a collection of Jeff stories!  Enjoy!      My dad is pretty handy at fixing things around the house, but sometimes he has to enlist one of us to help.  It used to be Helen, but now it is ALWAYS me or Tara.  I could get this wrong, because it was when Helen and dad were newly married, but they were remodeling the house.  We have, well had, beautiful hardwood floors that Helen wanted to "help" dad stain.  Well, before they even got started, Helen knocked the bucket of stain over and ruined the floor.  Still, to this day we have carpet in that room.      Helen also...

I am beginning to realize how much Tara and I are like mom.  It seems like with each year we age, we pick up more and more Helen-isms.  The worst part is that we hear them so often, we don't even realize we're saying them, or that the people we are talking to have no idea what we're talking about.  So, with the help of my family and close friends, I will now define these Helen-isms. Diddy Wadded - To get ready or dressed up. Ex. Jeff - Where is Kellie?       Helen - She's in there getting diddy wadded for dinner. Horsed - To leave with some sort of attitude. Happy, sad, angry, whatever. Ex.  Jeff - Where is Kellie?        Helen - She just horsed on out of here with her keys. Puttywaw - Female anatomy. I don't think an explanation is necessary. Slinging 'em around like sausages - When you are driving too fast, or taking turns too fast. Ex.  Slow down, Kellie, you're slinging 'em around...