FOMO No'mo!
Picture it - it's Friday night, and you've had a long week! Your friends ask you to go out, but you're just so tired! You've been looking forward to eating takeout and watching Netflix on the couch all week. Just as you settle in, you check out what's happening on IG to see all of their posts and stories showing their fabulous night in which they played darts with the Hemsworth brothers, and BAM! It happens - FOMO.
Several months ago I attended Katie Smith's "Highest, Healthiest Retreat," and we were asked to identify the barriers keeping us from reaching that highest, healthiest self. I have plenty of barriers, but I had to admit that my biggest issue was FOMO. For those of you who aren't familiar with the term, it stands for Fear Of Missing Out. FOMO is several barriers in one. I waste a lot of time, money, and energy doing things I don't REALLY want to do. FOMO is going to Dairy Queen with your friends even though you've been trying to eat healthy. It's going to the movies even though you're trying to save money. It's going out to dinner when you're exhausted and just want to stay home. Sometimes it's because I just don't want to miss out on the possibility of an awesome time, and other times I just can't say "no." I hate to feel like I am disappointing anyone, but I am quickly realizing that I CAN'T. DO. IT. ALL. To quote my friend, Lindsay Rotella, "No is the gateway to success," and while it's great to care about others feelings, sometimes you just have to look for No. 1 (that's you!)
FOMO is actually a form of social anxiety, and I know most of you are thinking "What? Kellie, you're extremely social," and I am - to the point that it makes me anxious if I am not included in things. I am going to level with you because I know exactly when my FOMO started. Throughout middle and high school, I was hyper aware of the culture of judgment and gossip, and that made me scared to be myself. Yes, I said SCARED. I felt I had to look and act a certain way, and if I didn't, I knew the consequences were snarky comments, being embarrassed, or being talked about. I know, I know. It is SO CRAZY to type these words because it's just ridiculous, but back then it felt like the world might end if I got removed from a Myspace "Top 8!" To avoid that, I wanted to be everywhere, all the time. If something was happening, I HAD to be there - end of story. If I had a dime for every time my dad said to me "Kellie, you can't dance every set..." Well, I'd probably have about $10.00. Should've gone with quarters. Anyway...
If I could go back to 2001 knowing what I know now, I would do things completely differently, starting with the whole white and blue eyeshadow situation. (Yikes. Rough times, am I right!?) I just think that I could've been so much happier. The negative impact that time had on my self-esteem is so frustrating to think about, especially considering I had a mom who consistently preached about having the "I don't care attitude" in our house throughout my entire life. I wish I had a cool story about the time that I has this major epiphany and my life changed forever (I mean, I kind of do, but that would hurt some feelings, and I'm not about that life,) but it was years and years of work to change my way of thinking. This is why personal development is so important, but that's another blog for another day!
I want you to stop and think about something that has a hold on your life. Is it a bad friend? Smoking? Little Debbie cakes? Whatever it is, bless it and release it! Say "thank you for your time, it's been s'well, but ya gots-ta-go!" When you release it, say a prayer. Ask God to help you work to overcome whatever it is. When that happens, you truly no longer care what you're missing out on because you have better things to worry about! When FOMO starts to creep in, be happy for those people, but realize that what you're currently doing is what's right for you, and it's making you happy. Spending time with the people you love, taking care of yourself, and getting your finances in order is what will impact your future, and that is far more important than what is happening around you right now.
xo - Kellie
FOMO is actually a form of social anxiety, and I know most of you are thinking "What? Kellie, you're extremely social," and I am - to the point that it makes me anxious if I am not included in things. I am going to level with you because I know exactly when my FOMO started. Throughout middle and high school, I was hyper aware of the culture of judgment and gossip, and that made me scared to be myself. Yes, I said SCARED. I felt I had to look and act a certain way, and if I didn't, I knew the consequences were snarky comments, being embarrassed, or being talked about. I know, I know. It is SO CRAZY to type these words because it's just ridiculous, but back then it felt like the world might end if I got removed from a Myspace "Top 8!" To avoid that, I wanted to be everywhere, all the time. If something was happening, I HAD to be there - end of story. If I had a dime for every time my dad said to me "Kellie, you can't dance every set..." Well, I'd probably have about $10.00. Should've gone with quarters. Anyway...
If I could go back to 2001 knowing what I know now, I would do things completely differently, starting with the whole white and blue eyeshadow situation. (Yikes. Rough times, am I right!?) I just think that I could've been so much happier. The negative impact that time had on my self-esteem is so frustrating to think about, especially considering I had a mom who consistently preached about having the "I don't care attitude" in our house throughout my entire life. I wish I had a cool story about the time that I has this major epiphany and my life changed forever (I mean, I kind of do, but that would hurt some feelings, and I'm not about that life,) but it was years and years of work to change my way of thinking. This is why personal development is so important, but that's another blog for another day!
I want you to stop and think about something that has a hold on your life. Is it a bad friend? Smoking? Little Debbie cakes? Whatever it is, bless it and release it! Say "thank you for your time, it's been s'well, but ya gots-ta-go!" When you release it, say a prayer. Ask God to help you work to overcome whatever it is. When that happens, you truly no longer care what you're missing out on because you have better things to worry about! When FOMO starts to creep in, be happy for those people, but realize that what you're currently doing is what's right for you, and it's making you happy. Spending time with the people you love, taking care of yourself, and getting your finances in order is what will impact your future, and that is far more important than what is happening around you right now.
xo - Kellie
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