Life with Helen

This year hasn't exactly gone as planned, and I think you know why.  We are currently experiencing some very low lows and some very high highs at the exact same time, and sometimes it's hard to keep up with this roller coaster of emotions we seem to be trapped on. We started 2019 on top of the world.  Well, after my very extended Christmas vacation (better known as the furlough) ended.  I was excited to focus on growing my blogging into a real business.  I had taken all the steps to become the assistant cheer coach at my alma mater.  We had moved into our new house.  We took a celebratory trip to Disney World.  We [thought] we had beat cancer.  All in all, w e were fully prepared to start our fresh, shiny, new lives.  Then, at Matt's 6 month check-in, his scans showed that the cancer was not only still there, but had spread to other places.  It was devastating.  And terrifying.  Even more devastating and terrifying than the first time.  To say we felt defeated and hopele

I love any excuse to wear a costume.  I have always had a very wild imagination, so dressing up and pretending to be someone else was one of my favorite things to play as a kid.  I vividly remember [mildly] threatening my preschool classmates if they took the costume I wanted in the costume bin.  As an adult, I am less threatening, but I still love a good costume.  I try to come up with fun, different costumes that people don't see very often.  Now, that doesn't always come in the form of the idea, but usually in the execution.  I have one rule, and one rule only when it comes to Halloween costumes - never buy a packaged costume from a store.  I always try my very best to make it from scratch, or piece it together.  I think that is part of the fun, and I enjoy a challenge.  So, I thought it would be fun to share some of my favorite costumes throughout the years!  Happy Halloween!   Fran Stalinovskovichdavidovitchsky and Gordon from Dodgeball  Ursula from the Little

The entire month of August was a whirlwind.  Not only is this a super busy time of year at work, but my personal life is also much crazier than usual.  Between meetings, trainings, cheerleading practice, and doctor appointments (now for both Matt and me) I was ready to kiss August goodbye!  Unfortunately, it's looking like September will be more of the same! Yes, cheerleading season is in full swing.  Until last week, I hadn't been to a BHS football game since I cheered 11 years ago, but my excitement to get back to those Friday night lights was short-lived!  It absolutely poured the rain, and we were all completely soaked.  I now have a "game bag" prepared that includes an umbrella, poncho, and towel.  I have been really impressed with this team, and I think we have a great season ahead.  I get a lot of "I don't know how you have the time for that" comments, but truthfully, its a nice distraction from cancer life and something fun for me to do. You kn

I think that one of the hardest parts of  Matt's cancer diagnosis was the fact that our lives were put on hold.  We are at the age where many of our peers are taking promotions, moving on to bigger and better things, traveling the world, and starting families.  For us, none of those things were on the horizon.  Don't get me wrong, we are absolutely elated for our friends and families who have had these opportunities, but honestly, it made me a little jealous. The hardest thing to accept was the possibility that we may never have kids - something we have wanted as long as we can remember.  (Side note:  STOP ASKING COUPLES WHEN THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE KIDS.  I wanted to plant my fist betwixt the eyes of more than a few people over these last few years.  You don't know their situation and it can be extremely hurtful to people who struggle.)  There is little to no research on fertility after receiving the type of chemotherapy Matt has received because most people with his type

Everyone say hi to my sweet nephew, Aaron Joseph Chapman!  He was born on 7/11 (free Slurpees for life!) and was 8lbs 3oz and 20in long.  Big sister Summitt is not super impressed yet, but to be fair, Tara wasn't all that impressed with me either.  Mom and Dad said that Tara held me for a minute, then looked up at them and said "well she can't do nuffin'..." and she was absolutely correct!  It has been several weeks, so I know you guys are looking for a Matt update.  We still haven't found the right "cocktail" of medications to keep the nausea and vomiting totally under control, but it is much better than week 1.  The week before last he had a blood clot in his left arm (again) so they had to switch the port (again).  No further comment, but that makes port surgery #5 for those of you keeping track.  Unlike his last 6 months of chemo, he loses more hair by the day and is almost completely bald now.  He is completely zapped most days and has

First things first.  I sang this song throughout the entire trip, and nobody had heard it before.  SO disappointed in my peers, y'all.  Okay, moving on... Last week we had the opportunity to travel to Cheyenne, WY for work, and let me tell you - the trip got off to a VERY rocky start.  From the moment the flight took off to the moment we landed there was turbulence.  I don't mean a few bumps here and there.  I mean the flight was so rough that our butts were coming off the seats, our drinks and phones were being thrown across the aisle, and we had to brace ourselves on the seats in front of us so tightly that our muscles were sore the next day.  In the midst of all of this, my motion sickness kicked in and I tossed my cookies into about 3 little paper bags before the flight attendant just gave me a trash bag.  While I was doing that, another passenger was having a seizure (we think) and was lying in the aisle while all the nurses tended to him.  The captain announced that De

Meeting my...biggest fan! Hahhhhh! Okay, I'm done. This blog was supposed to post last Friday, but I was busy trying to stay alive on a flight (more on that later) and completely forgot to post it! So, just pretend you don't already know, and go with it! I hope you guys are sitting down for this because I have some exciting news.  No really, I couldn't believe it either! I responded to an IG story from TJMaxx several months ago about doing the #maxx50challenge.  If you haven't heard of it - TJMaxx sends a $50 giftcard, you video yourself showing what you can find in their store for $50, and they post it on their IG story! They sent me a link to apply, but weeks and months went by with no response, so I thought it was a lost cause.  I had already accepted defeat when I received an email from the TJX marketing team.  I thought it was a "thanks, but no thanks" email, but it was just the opposite.  They wanted to know if I would be interested in doing t

Long time no see, friends!  As you can imagine, things have been pretty crazy in our world.  We had a lovely trip to Emerald Isle, NC with Matt's family the week before last, and some ocean therapy was definitely needed.  There's something about letting the waves crash against your feet and just standing in awe of the majesty of God's creation.  It's good for the soul. We came back from vacation Sunday night and had to be up at 5:00a.m. for Matt's port surgery.  He started chemo on Wednesday morning, and we are already seeing the side effects of the chemo, except much worse this time around.  He was very sick for the first 3 days, moderately sick the next 2 days, and is still a little sick.  I've been feeding him nausea medicine around the clock with ginger ale and mint tea, diffusing oils, and scouring the interwebs for cancer blogs and message boards looking for tips, but it's not helping as much as we'd like.  I hate that he has to do this 11 more t

My heart is broken.  This isn't any easier the second time around.  It's still something I never wanted to share, but this is the reality of cancer.  This is why there are check-ins and various tests and scans.  I will start at the beginning for those of you who aren't aware.  Matt was diagnosed with small bowel adenocarcinoma in October of 2017.  He had surgery to remove the tumor followed by 6 months of chemotherapy.  Matt's scans, up until this month, have been great.  He has had clear scopes, clear CT scans, and perfect bloodwork.  However, at his one year appointment, the PET scan showed something entirely different.  There were several spots that "lit up," and the biopsies from his laparoscopy all came back positive for adenocarcinoma...again. *big sigh* If you're scratching your head and asking yourself how this is possible, join the club.  Basically, cancer cells are tiny little boogers, and sometimes they escape the chemo to find a new home somew

This is going to be a short one because I simply don't have much to say.  I really wanted to write a super cute Mother’s Day post, but instead we are still waiting for some good news about Matt.   I had hoped that I’d be better at waiting by now. I thought maybe the whole cancer experience would make me more patient...more faithful, maybe? Instead, I seem to grow more impatient.  Honestly, I can't even begin to articulate the frustration of this process, but waiting is definitely the hardest part.  I am a doer and a fixer, so I need answers.   Even if it’s not the answer I want, at least it allows me to act. This waiting part makes me feel so helpless. Of course, people are concerned and asking for updates, so I'll cut to the chase.  The doctors couldn’t get what they needed from the scans or the biopsy they did last week, so next week Matt will have a laparoscopy to look around in there. Obviously, given Matt’s medical history, they’re concerned, and we’ve exhausted al