Life with Helen

That's right, my beloved sister almost sent me plummeting to my death!  But before I tell this story, I feel it's only fair to tell you that Tara and I have VERY different stories about the events that happened this day.  I, of course, am right. It was a cold, snowy day in Null Addition, and Tara and I were starting to feel the effects of the Christmas hangover.  Not that kind of hangover, we were children! What kind of parents do you think Helen and Jeff are!?  No, the Christmas hangover is that feeling of bleh.  The presents have been opened, the food has been eaten, Santa was vacationing somewhere tropical after his big night around the world, and we were left to help put away the decorations, which we thought was a cruel and unusual form of punishment. Helen suggested we go play in the snow.  Now, anyone that knows me knows that I LOATHE the outdoors.  I can tolerate the beach, but I hate the sand.  I just don't like nature.  It's too uncertain and too out of my

2012 has really been an incredible year for me in so many ways, but I can't say I wasn't warned.  About 3 years ago, Brittany and I decided to go see a psychic.  I don't ever really tell people about it because, religion-wise, its a big no-no, but we were just so curious! We were also very down on our luck!  The psychic told us both that we had three years of bad luck ahead, and told us not to bother with love because it would fail.  Awesome news, right!? Well, despite our best efforts, she ended up being right.  Three years of bad luck came and went, and like clockwork, things started to turn around for me.  Brittany, not so much! (haha ;) sorry!!) I met Matt around Christmas time last year and quickly fell head over heels, which is NOT NORMAL for me seeing as how I usually head for the hills!  I'm so incredibly happy everyday with him, and I really couldn't have asked for a better family!  Kathy is the best 2nd mom/friend/Zumbaer/shopping buddy/cooking instructor

I am a HUGE Ellen DeGeneres fan! Thank goodness for DVR, without which I would be a sad, miserable girl.  I DVR and watch Ellen's show everyday, and everyday I cry!  She is just so giving and humble, and I think she truly inspires other people to be the same.  Anywho, the DJ on her show, Tony, never knows the lyrics to any of the songs he plays, so she created a segment called "Tony Karaoke" to display his lack of lyric knowledge.  This gave me an idea.  HELENOKE.  Sadly, I don't have video evidence of her singing because she would never voluntarily participate in this! Throughout the years, my family and I have had to listen to Helen sing.  She sings in the house, in the car, in the store, pretty much everywhere.  I'll put her singing into perspective for you.  When Tara was a baby, Helen was singing her to sleep and Tara put her hand over Helen's mouth and said "Mommy no sing."  She sings in what Tara and I like to call, "the alto choir voice

I FINALLY GOT MY PUPPY! Say hello to my little Ozzie! :) From what we've gathered from numerous people and online research, Oz is a double dapple dachshund.  He has one blue eye and one brown eye, and he is the sweetest puppy ever, but bless his heart, he has had a rough life so far! Since Helen has been retired, she has become very chummy with our neighbors, and had mentioned to our across-the-street-neighbors, Danny and Paulette, that I have been looking for a puppy.  Danny, a former vet tech, suggested a few places and breeds, and that was that.  That weekend, my neighbors went to visit family in southern WV.  They were winding down the roads when they noticed something in the ditch.  They quickly turned around and found Ozzie, scared, cold, and skin and bones.  He ran into a drain pipe, where he had apparently been living for the past few days, and Danny had to coax him out.  They brought him home and cleaned him up, and called Helen! I had originally been planning to go see

     I WANT A PUPPY! I have been puppy/dog shopping for months now, and I still haven't found THE one.  Everytime I find one that I like it has either already been adopted or they just refuse to answer me.  The rejection is starting to hurt a little!  I have two dogs in my home already, but they aren't MY dogs.  I would like for Yogie to be my dog, but he and Helen have formed this bond and there is no breaking it.  I plan to move out after I graduate in a couple months, so it will just be me and my new dog!      The problem with dog shopping is that no dog compares to our old Spitz mix, Pokey.  We had to put Pokey to sleep when I was in middle school because he was suffering from brain cancer. Pokey was older than I was, 14 to be exact! He would let me dress him up in tshirts and dresses and use him as a fluffy pillow in the floor when we were watching tv, so needless to say, he was a very relaxed dog.      Like I said, Pokey was a Spitz, so he had lots of fluffy white fur,

I had no idea that my fashion choices as a 6 year old would spark a movement taking over the country.  That's right, folks.  I started the big, fake, thick, black, horn-rimmed glasses trend!  Jealous?  I thought so. You see, when I was in the first grade, I wanted glasses so badly.  I just thought they made you look smart, cool, sophisticated.  I needed them.  When Helen would go to pick out her frames, I spent the entire time gazing at myself in the mirrors to find the perfect frame for my face. It was that time of year.  No, not Christmas, time to get our annual physicals.  It was always the same at Doctor Phillips office.  She had dealt with me long enough to know what she was up against when it came to injuries, illnesses, and accidents.  The appointment always began with the eye chart in the hallway.  She handed me a black paddle to cover my left eye with, and asked me to read the chart.  "E, d, c, k, v, t..."  I read the chart with ease, and then it hit me.  If I

As many of you know, my dad has coached several different sports at George Washington Middle School over the years.  Not because he necessarily wanted to, but usually because nobody was willing to take the position.  While Tara was in middle school, he proudly coached the Lady Blue Devils basketball team, and they went on to win the conference championship.  This was not due to their amazing skills, my dad's excellent coaching, or their hard work, dedication, and practice.  This was because of the Magic Pills. I was in the first grade during this time, which was a particularly good year for me when it came to my story telling.  One of my mom's co-workers had an old GWMS cheerleading uniform that she had given to me, so naturally, I convinced my classmates that I was a GW Middle cheerleader.  I would pack the uniform in a duffle bag and take it to school with me, then walk over to the middle school and change before games. I was always at the basketball practices and games, and

I grew up in a neighborhood full of kids; unfortunately everyone was at least 5 years older than me, including my sister, Tara.   Our interests were vastly different when it came to everyday playtime and games.   Tara always wanted to play games like baseball or one she invented that involved throwing things at me.   I was more interested in playing “Pretty, Pretty Princess” or makeover, and no one shared this interest with me!   (As I mentioned in “Scrubby Bubbles,” I had quite an imagination, and I wasn’t afraid to use it.) One day when I woke up, I suddenly had a new friend, Amy.   She was the best friend I could’ve asked for.   Amy was there when I needed her, and gone when I didn’t need her.   She did what I wanted to do, played what I wanted to play, and talked when I wanted to talk!   It was great!   I know that most imaginary friends can do extraordinary things, like fly or walk on the ceiling.   My friend was slightly different.   You see, Amy was unfortunately handicapped, an

     Just to preface this story, from the ages of 2 to 5, I attended Mrs. Cindy's Preschool just across the railroad tracks from my house.  Any of you that know Cindy know that she is incredibly fun and silly, which makes for an excellent preschool teacher.   At this time, my imagination was running wild and she only encouraged it!             One afteroon w hile watching TV, I saw it! The Scrubbing Bubbles commercial! I remember it like it was yesterday!   The “Scrubby” Bubbles came on the screen singing, dancing, and whirling around the bathroom without a care in the world.   When the trigger was pulled, the Scrubby Bubbles shot out, and off they went! My mission was clear.             The next few days went by and I had forgotten all about the Scrubby Bubbles, until Helen needed to make a trip to Hills. Yes, it was still Hills, not Ames or Magic Mart.   It was an ordinary Hills trip.   The greeter gave me a sticker, I got my popcorn, and of course, a blue Icee.   I was trailing

The Zumba Convention can really be summed up in one word:  whoa.  I heard several times that there were almost 10,000 people in attendance. Try to wrap your mind around a place filled with 10,000 Zumba instructors. It looked like a box of skittles! Now, you may think that I am obsessed and talk about it way too much, but I PROMISE you, I don't hold a candle to these people.  It was like being in an alternate universe.  If a song came on that they did in their Zumba class, they immediately dropped their 15 bags of Zumbawear and did it, no matter where they were. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Zumba as much as the next person, but I just grew out of that behavior after my last year of cheerleading camp!  Luckily, I had Megan there.  She is normal, thank God.  Anywho, Megan and I ended up skipping the concert and party to go out to eat with Justin (her husband) and Tara (my sister) and ended up having more fun anyways.  We ate REALLY GOOD! We deserved Margaritaville, Bahama Breeze, S

I call it a "break" because there was very little breaking involved. I seriously can't figure out how I am able to do school with everything else I have going on. I worked my usual 40 hours a week and went to zumba every time the doors were open, but I didn't have classes and I was still exhausted! I actually made 4 trips to the Civic Center in 4 days! For work, I had to sit at our USDA RD booth for the Consturcution and Design Expo two days in a row. Let me tell you, exciting stuff! I love my job, I love my job... Enough complaining! There were plenty of moments this week that I didn't want a break! My 3rd trip to the Civic Center was by far the best! The Snap Fitness Zumbaritas were part of the 600+ that showed up to Paint Charleston Pink Saturday morning! This Zumbathon raised over $15,000 towards Breast Cancer research, and we were thrilled to be a part of such a great cause! Not to mention, we had a BLAST! After 2 hours of Zumba, we were definitely in

I am getting so sick and tired of hearing about these STUPID fad diets all the time. I hear about them at work, at the gym, from friends, and, of course, on Facebook and Twitter. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that if you eat only cabbage soup for a week you'll lose 5 pounds. Guess what happens when you eat a regular meal again...you gain back 5 pounds. One "diet" that really gets me is The Master Cleanse. You drink a concoction of water, lemon juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper all day. Then, as if that's not gross enough, you get to drink salt water in the morning and herbal laxative tea at night. Are you kidding me? Once again, eat something normal and the weight will be back before you can blink. Another one of my favorites is the Dukan Diet. There are 4 phases to it. For the first 7 days you can eat all the meat you want, but nothing else. The next week you can add vegetables, but only the 28 on the list. I'm not sure about the oth

Happy New Year! Of course this blog is going to be about what happened in 2011 and what I plan to do in 2012. While I still have a long way to go, I think I did a lot of growing up in the past year. Overall 2011 was a good year for the Lewis family. My sister got engaged, married, and promoted twice! She helped coach the BHS softball team into a "A" State Championship, and the GWMS girls basketball team got Runner-Up in their conference. I'm very excited for her accomplishments and thrilled to have Adam in the family. Helen retired from USDA-RD after 30 years of working! I really miss working with her, but it's nice to have her home. I always wanted a stay-at-home mom growing up (until I hit my teenage years, then I wasn't so fond of the idea lol), but now I'm glad she did work. She has been a great example and role model for Tara and me. Poor Dad hates change, so all of these things probably haven't been easy for him to accept! lol I've had a lot of