Scott Rogers
First of all, I am fully aware that this story makes me sound like a complete nutcase, but I have shared plenty of my childhood antics with you all, so why stop now?
Jimmy Fallon tweeted out asking for the #worstlieievertold. I tweeted a couple, and then I remembered one in particular that I'm not even sure if I ever came clean to my family about. Oopsie.
It all started with Santa's Workshop. For those of you who aren't familiar (or maybe your school called it something else) I will elaborate. When you are in elementary school, you can't exactly drive to the local Wal-Mart and Christmas shop, but being the sweet, innocent child that you are, you want to buy things for your family. So, the parents at our school would go to the Dollar Tree, purchase little gifts, and set up a shop in the library where you could come at a certain time of day to purchase gifts for your family.
The night before the start of Santa's Workshop Helen had a little chat with me. She made it clear that I was only allowed to buy things for Tara, Dad, and Mamaw. I had planned to break the rule a little and buy something for her, of course, but I think she already knew that.
The next day Dad dropped an envelope in my backpack before he took me to school. I waited all morning until it was finally my turn to go shopping. My class marched down the hallway in a single file line, and I had my envelope in tow. It contained a $10 bill, and written on it was the list of approved people we had discussed the previous night.
I picked out some bath beads for Helen and Mamaw, but I can't remember what I got for the other two on my list. No matter, I do remember having $3 left, and wouldn't you know that it was just enough for an off brand "Barbie"-like doll and 2 outfit changes. WHAT LUCK. Now, I'll be honest, there wasn't a whole lot of "maybe I should, no, no, I really shouldn't" back and forth going on in my head. The angel on my shoulder always seemed to be out of the office during this period of my life. I grabbed the doll, carefully chose the outfits I liked best, and made a beeline for the checkout.
After some casual chatting with the mom taking care of the money, I gave her my $10, and proceeded to the wrapping station. The mom wrapping (I think it may have been Brenda Harris) helped me write name tags, and when the doll and outfits were next to tag it suddenly dawned on me - HOW WAS I GOING TO GET THESE PAST HELEN? I quickly started talking without a plan in mind, hoping something would come out that made sense. (That's how I do my best work.)
"You know what, just leave those blank because I'm not sure which, um, cousin I want to give them to yet..."
Then I thought to myself, "Yeahhhh, that's it, my cousin!"
I skipped back to my classroom where I spent the rest of the day contemplating what to do with my gifts from me to me. At some point in my scheming I thought to myself "if only I had a boyfriend to buy me gifts..." and EUREKA! Just like that, Scott Rogers was born.
I have no idea how I came up with the name. I must've just liked it? Anywho, I was sure to mention that he wasn't in my class or grade, just in case anyone felt like investigating a class roster or scoping out a birthday party. He was very handsome, funny, and smart. He always bought me Christmas and Birthday gifts, made me Valentines, and let me wear his jacket on the playground when it was chilly. You know, all the things a girl could ever want in an imaginary boyfriend! Any time that my cover was about to be blown, I would simply say that we broke up. We were very on again-off again. This was one of my only schemes that I ever got away with unscathed, and it actually went on for a long period of time! Eventually Scott Rogers just faded away, and everyone forgot he even existed, BUT it was good while it lasted. ;)
Jimmy Fallon tweeted out asking for the #worstlieievertold. I tweeted a couple, and then I remembered one in particular that I'm not even sure if I ever came clean to my family about. Oopsie.
It all started with Santa's Workshop. For those of you who aren't familiar (or maybe your school called it something else) I will elaborate. When you are in elementary school, you can't exactly drive to the local Wal-Mart and Christmas shop, but being the sweet, innocent child that you are, you want to buy things for your family. So, the parents at our school would go to the Dollar Tree, purchase little gifts, and set up a shop in the library where you could come at a certain time of day to purchase gifts for your family.
The night before the start of Santa's Workshop Helen had a little chat with me. She made it clear that I was only allowed to buy things for Tara, Dad, and Mamaw. I had planned to break the rule a little and buy something for her, of course, but I think she already knew that.
The next day Dad dropped an envelope in my backpack before he took me to school. I waited all morning until it was finally my turn to go shopping. My class marched down the hallway in a single file line, and I had my envelope in tow. It contained a $10 bill, and written on it was the list of approved people we had discussed the previous night.
I picked out some bath beads for Helen and Mamaw, but I can't remember what I got for the other two on my list. No matter, I do remember having $3 left, and wouldn't you know that it was just enough for an off brand "Barbie"-like doll and 2 outfit changes. WHAT LUCK. Now, I'll be honest, there wasn't a whole lot of "maybe I should, no, no, I really shouldn't" back and forth going on in my head. The angel on my shoulder always seemed to be out of the office during this period of my life. I grabbed the doll, carefully chose the outfits I liked best, and made a beeline for the checkout.
After some casual chatting with the mom taking care of the money, I gave her my $10, and proceeded to the wrapping station. The mom wrapping (I think it may have been Brenda Harris) helped me write name tags, and when the doll and outfits were next to tag it suddenly dawned on me - HOW WAS I GOING TO GET THESE PAST HELEN? I quickly started talking without a plan in mind, hoping something would come out that made sense. (That's how I do my best work.)
"You know what, just leave those blank because I'm not sure which, um, cousin I want to give them to yet..."
Then I thought to myself, "Yeahhhh, that's it, my cousin!"
I skipped back to my classroom where I spent the rest of the day contemplating what to do with my gifts from me to me. At some point in my scheming I thought to myself "if only I had a boyfriend to buy me gifts..." and EUREKA! Just like that, Scott Rogers was born.
I have no idea how I came up with the name. I must've just liked it? Anywho, I was sure to mention that he wasn't in my class or grade, just in case anyone felt like investigating a class roster or scoping out a birthday party. He was very handsome, funny, and smart. He always bought me Christmas and Birthday gifts, made me Valentines, and let me wear his jacket on the playground when it was chilly. You know, all the things a girl could ever want in an imaginary boyfriend! Any time that my cover was about to be blown, I would simply say that we broke up. We were very on again-off again. This was one of my only schemes that I ever got away with unscathed, and it actually went on for a long period of time! Eventually Scott Rogers just faded away, and everyone forgot he even existed, BUT it was good while it lasted. ;)
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