You're Not Gonna Believe This...
I think that one of the hardest parts of Matt's cancer diagnosis was the fact that our lives were put on hold. We are at the age where many of our peers are taking promotions, moving on to bigger and better things, traveling the world, and starting families. For us, none of those things were on the horizon. Don't get me wrong, we are absolutely elated for our friends and families who have had these opportunities, but honestly, it made me a little jealous.
The hardest thing to accept was the possibility that we may never have kids - something we have wanted as long as we can remember. (Side note: STOP ASKING COUPLES WHEN THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE KIDS. I wanted to plant my fist betwixt the eyes of more than a few people over these last few years. You don't know their situation and it can be extremely hurtful to people who struggle.) There is little to no research on fertility after receiving the type of chemotherapy Matt has received because most people with his type of cancer are well past the child-bearing years. The oncologist told us he thought it would be okay for us to try to get pregnant 12 months after Matt's last chemo treatment. Then, they found the cancer was back at his 1 year check in. Yes, 12 months after his last chemo treatment. The thought of having to wait another 6 months, and then a year after that for a MAYBE chance at having a family was extremely hard to hear. We talked about fostering and adopting, and I started looking into grants specifically for cancer survivors who have fertility issues. Most of all, we prayed and prayed and prayed, and wouldn't you know - God answered.
If you think you're shocked, just know it is not even a tiny fraction of what we feel. Remember how sick I was in Denver/Cheyenne? Yep, that explains it! I won’t lie, I am still waiting on that magical, glowing feeling to hit, but we are super excited nonetheless! God has given us this tiny little ray of sunshine in such a cloudy patch of life, and we are so grateful. Sweet little baby Lilly will arrive in February, about 3 months after Matt (hopefully) finishes chemo. Obviously, the timing is a little crazy as our lives are pretty stressful, but we are unbelievably thankful!
xo - The Lillys
The hardest thing to accept was the possibility that we may never have kids - something we have wanted as long as we can remember. (Side note: STOP ASKING COUPLES WHEN THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE KIDS. I wanted to plant my fist betwixt the eyes of more than a few people over these last few years. You don't know their situation and it can be extremely hurtful to people who struggle.) There is little to no research on fertility after receiving the type of chemotherapy Matt has received because most people with his type of cancer are well past the child-bearing years. The oncologist told us he thought it would be okay for us to try to get pregnant 12 months after Matt's last chemo treatment. Then, they found the cancer was back at his 1 year check in. Yes, 12 months after his last chemo treatment. The thought of having to wait another 6 months, and then a year after that for a MAYBE chance at having a family was extremely hard to hear. We talked about fostering and adopting, and I started looking into grants specifically for cancer survivors who have fertility issues. Most of all, we prayed and prayed and prayed, and wouldn't you know - God answered.
xo - The Lillys
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